Wednesday night I had the hardest time sleeping. All night I was obsessively going in and out of a dream-like state decorating and organizing all of our household goods that have yet arrived. I was mentally mapping out Tyson’s room and where everything in the house is going to go. I should’ve seen this as a sign labor would be soon since my “nesting” instinct was in super overdrive.
After I left work on Thursday around 9:30am to finish registering our car, I started having cramps. I disregarded these as simple mild little Braxton hicks, although strange, I thought they’d go away. I picked up Tim from his training and we headed to the PX to get a few things and then to the commissary to stock up on healthy food. I told people there I knew that I was in pain and I might be in labor. I was 75% kidding….I really didn’t know I was.
I drove us to the DMV and of course we got lost but he was in the car with me and I wasn’t afraid and we eventually made it. Registration done, new steel tags. So we drove back home to put away the groceries and I ate a little something and then I had to take him to pick up his driver’s license at 3pm and then take him to PT. Can you believe how it worked out that he got his license just a few hours before he really, really needed it to take me to the hospital?! Amazing. So I headed to the last stop to register our car on post to get the decal. I walked in and felt a wave of cramps. As the sweet Katusas handles all of my paperwork I was gently rocking back and forth and resting my head on the counter.
“Ma'am, are you okay?” one of them with a heavy accent asked. I rose me head and smiled and said yes. He followed me out to the car and placed my decal on. For some reason my car is really nice to them here. Back in the states it’s nice but older of course, but I think here it’s so rare to see a convertible that the Koreans really love it. I love it too. :) I'm extremely blessed to have it. Thank you Dad.
Anyways, I still had an hour and a half to kill before I had to pick up Tim. I decided to head to the PX for a second time that day to get bleach and mold/mildew cleaner so I could make sure our bathrooms are clean. The humidity here is so, so bad. You have to make sure to help prevent mold and mildew!! Eww!
I also thought it would be a good idea to get any last minute items for Ty’s diaper bag just in case! Baby oil, chapstick, desitin, etc. I had to rest in a plush reclining chair . People passed and asked if I was alright. I would smile and say yes. Deep down, I could tell something was going on….
I headed to burger king and got a small value meal-a big fish meal. I scarfed it down in the car while waiting for Tim in front of the gym. “Maybe I was just hungry!” dismissing my painful cramps to my friend Amanda while we were both sitting in our cars waiting for our husbands. Haha…nope I was definitely in labor.
Tim and I both went home and I crawled in bed for a nap. Maybe that would stop these weird cramps. I could feel the discomfort in my dreams. I woke up and started reading “Easy Labor and Delivery” - a book I picked up at the library. All of a sudden around 8:00pm I felt a gentle pop - like a small balloon ruptured inside me. I felt water trickle down and I got out of bed and headed to the bathroom, it was clear. I was shocked. “Honey! Oh my God, I think my water just broke!” “What!? Are you sure!?” We looked at the bed, it had a water spot about a foot in length. We both were in shock and couldn’t believe it was happening! I rushed around the house gathering up everything I could think of that we might need. Tim frantically rushed around asking himself “Okay what do I need, what do I need!!??” and he called his chain of command and I was busy doing last minute dishes, cleaning, reapplying my make-up and eyelashes haha! We called both our Moms and told them I might be in labor. They both couldn't believe it too! We finally packed everything in the car and headed on our way to the hospital - we barely had a clue as to where to go. It was dark and we got quite lost in the city so I called my wonderful co-worked Yeji for help. She met up with us and guided us all the way there, she even paid our toll at the gate on the highway. The drive took about an hour. I was so blessed to have her helping us. I was in a lot of pain by this point.
We pulled into the emergency entrance and parked the car. I hobbled into the hospital and rested at the counter. Everyone was looking at us like we were aliens. Tim was trying to explain to the man at the front desk that I was in labor. I was moaning in bad pain and rocking back and forth. I began to cry. The man at the desk didn't seem to care at all. It took about 15 minutes for them to get someone who spoke English to finally get what was going on. They sent a man to escort us to the labor and delivery ward. It seemed like the longest walk ever. I didn't understand why they didn't offer me a wheelchair like I've seen in the movies. I saw a few but the man was walking so fast that I was struggling to keep up much less stop. We finally made it into one of the rooms and they made me take off my clothes and put on a ghastly orange long skirt and shirt. They made me get into the bed and strapped the monitors on me. They did a quick ultrasound and made sure it was my water that had broke. It was. I asked Tim to wash off my feet since I'd been in flip-flops all day, he did. The contractions were getting worse. I had to cover my face with my pillow to let out loud moans. The nurse gave me an IV which hurt so bad in combination with a bad contraction. She then checked me and told me I wasn't dilated at all. This was around 11pm. My heart broke. Really, how could this be? She told me and Tim that the contractions weren't really real and I'd have to go into another room and rest through the night. Maybe I'd be dilated a little in the morning. Tim and I agreed that I was just a big ol' baby and joked about how horrible it was going to be when "real" contractions came. So we went into the other room and we were disappointed there was only one bed and two little chairs. Tim set up the laptop and we began watching "Coneheads." I really tried to focus on the movie but I was moving around the room trying to get comfortable. Nothing helped. No relief. I started screaming and crying as each contraction seemed worse and worse. I threw up too :/ The pain was awful. My amazing husband did everything he could to try to help. He was an amazing partner. The nurse came in again around midnight to check me..no change. She said if I dilated at 2 cms she would get me an epidural. That sounded beyond amazing at this point. I would just have to wait a little longer then I would have the modern laboring miracle: *epidural* to stop the tremendous pain I was feeling. I felt like I was slowly being ripped in half. In no time at all she came back in and I was dilated to 5 cms!!! This is when things sped up in my head. I remember hearing the words "I'm sorry, no epidural...too late" my world stopped. 'WHAT!!!?? NO. I didn't go to my birthing class!! (it was cancelled)!!!! I wasn't done with my book! I was only on the 3rd chapter! I don't know how to breathe!!! I can't do it!!!!! This can't be happening!!!' I begged for my life. I held her hand and begged. 'Please! Please! You HAVE to give me something. I'm dying!!!' I was screaming and writhing in pain. They strapped the monitors again to me and I couldn't move from the bed. I was screaming loud obscenities and beginning to tell Tim my last goodbyes in between telling him and everyone else that I hated them. Sometimes I would stop and just stare at the ceiling and feel the world closing in on me when the pain completely took over. I would intentionally hold my breath because moving even in the slightest bit threw me into more writhing pain. She checked me again, I was fully dilated. This was it. Tim to push. I kept telling Tim I couldn't do it. He always reassured me I could. "Yes you can, you have to" Suddenly around 5 people came into the room all having their own job to do. No one really spoke and if they did it was in soft Korean voices. Mine was the only loud chaotic voice in the room. Still screaming. Tim told me to begin pushing with my contractions. They put a mask of oxygen on me and I was trying to do what I was told but mainly just letting my body take over. They strapped my legs to the bed and slowly the bed mechanically transformed with me strapped to it into a real birthing bed. While it was slowly moving I had a big urge to push but my legs were still mostly held together. Finally the bed was fully opened and I was grateful it was sturdy and strong against the force I was pressing against it with my feet. The doctors were doing a great job of helping to guide Tyson out. "I can see his head!" Tim screamed! He later told me he was so scared when he first saw Ty's head because he thought it was the size of a tennis ball. He was just seeing the tip of it where it was being pushed out. I remember the immense pain of feeling like I was on fire down there. "I can't do it!!" I screamed. Tim then said "You have to push, push him out!!! He can't breathe!!!" (I know that as long as baby is attached to the cord he doesn't need to breathe but I wasn't in my right mind at the time) I then pushed with every part of my being. He slipped out and I will never forget the amazing relief I felt. It was one of the best moments of my life. It was 2:50 in the morning. Tim clipped the cord.
As the cocktail of chemicals rushed to my brain to relieve the pain swept over me I felt like I was on another planet. I looked over and felt like I was in a dream as I saw them wiping off Ty. He was blue and not breathing. It took about 30 seconds of vigorous rubbing to get that loud cry out of him. I was surprisingly not worried at all during those 30 seconds. I knew God had it handled. I felt amazing...until they began checking me for lesions or tears. The burning came back and it was incredibly sensitive. They brought me Tyson to have a good look at him but the doctor's didn't pause down there for me to enjoy my first few moments with my son. They took him to the nursery and didn't return until an hour later. During that hour the doctors continue to poke and prod me until they finally left and it was just Tim and I. They gave me pain medicine in my IV. It was wonderful. I apologized to every nurse I encountered. I don't think they could understand me but I felt better. They brought me Tyson and there we sat a new family of 3. We snapped a few pics and shared quiet tender moments with eachother after a chaotic night.
I awoke when they brought my breakfast in around 8am. I had so much energy! My hand hurt from my IV but other than that I felt amazing. I got up and headed to the bathroom. I was surprised at how much weight I felt off of me and how easy it was to get out of bed. I sat down and began to go. A shock of lightning ran up my body that made me yelp in pain. Wow. I would have to be better mentally prepared next time. Although I didn't tear it was still very sensitive down there. I went back into my room and enjoyed my delicious breakfast and did my makeup and freshened up.
They brought me Tyson. My heart skipped a beat as I crawled in bed and the nurse handed him to me. She then helped me breastfeed. Tim came in later on and talked about the whole experience and how amazing it was.
We then got to move into a new room with a nice futon and we all took naps.
Later Tim went to get something to eat as I cuddled and bonded with my newest love.
The hospital stay was calm and short. I only stayed one full night and we left on Saturday morning around noon. Tyson was perfect and I felt amazing.
Overall the only thing I would've changed about the whole birthing experience was getting to hold Tyson on me after he was born "skin on skin." He was born at 36 weeks. I credit the fact that he is so perfect and healthy to having to give birth "naturally" with no medication at all. I know that deep, deep down I've always wanted to give birth naturally but I didn't have the training or proper education how to do it with less pain and breathing techniques to make it less traumatic. I guess I didn't really need it. We are SO incredibly blessed. Today he is 11 days old. We're on a family honeymoon where we have mostly been hibernating in doors getting lots of rest and cuddle time. It's been amazing so far. Tim is the best father and he helps out so much. I love seeing him with our son, I feel like my world is complete.
I love that you did the dishes after your water broke! Awesome mamma.
ReplyDeleteThank you! Didn't want to come home to a messy house ;)
ReplyDelete